Rainy Days

Rainy days are definitely here. It's been several months now and it took this season to ignite once more in me the desire to write. That's my problem I now realized. bah! I become complacent when I run into things that steal my attention, and worst they don't turn out the way I want them to.

But rainy days reminds me of many incidents that have marked both my childhood and young adulthood life.

Basketball under the rain, running along the gutter kicking the rainwater while it channeled towards the street, a cup of coffee with books by the window, rushing to go to work at 5 in the morning trying to escape the downpour, going to the mall with the largest umbrella just to watch my favorite movie.

By the bed- sick and coughing, a friend passing away and raining during the funeral, losing my job during the season, stricken with slipped disc and mononeuropathy multiplex that lasted for 2 seasons---recuperating still and it's raining--, and again a friend passed away recently at the start of the season.

But I love it. The smell of it. The sound it makes on the roof and pavement. The rustle on the leaves of mangoes and other trees. The cold wind that brings it to completion. And the comfort it brings while cuddling with my pillows and bedsheet at night.

Somehow it cools and freshens the senses.. and the soul.


"Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is You, LORD our God. Therefore our hope is in You, for You are the one who does all this."
-Jeremiah 14:22

Too Much To Handle ..

We all grope in the dark once in a while. And when one gropes there, light is what we need.

This is where the Messiah comes in. Least expected, He appears via our spouse, friends, a book, or even a television show.

We all pass this way. Thank you Lord, I have my Lou to keep me sane most of the time(hehe). Wrong choices can destroy the blissful plan of the Almighty but He works there in that brokenness to restore us to hope. Remember to live life to the fullest and always keep the faith. 

After the redemption, we have been given the full blast of making choices. The consequences come next. :)

courtesy: sxc.hu

I.C.U.

Lola Peling was rushed to the ICU last Sept.17, Friday. She could hardly breath. Thinking she was having a heart attack, they immediately brought her to the hospital. Later, it was found out that she had a congestion and that caused a halt in the heartbeat. Lou and I visited her several times, but I didn't attempt to go inside the ICU. I feared it would bring me back to the memory of my dear friend Nilo. It all happened last year when he was also brought to the ICU after a terrible accident and after two days he died. I was afraid to see all those gadgets inserted to lola Peling. I was stone-cold and a bit of apprehensive while waiting for Lou. When she went out, she described to me how she looked like. Truly as I feared it, she told me it reminded her of Nilo. Then, while she was talking to her mom on the phone, she cried. I held my own tears. Just as I thought. Good thing I didn't insist to see lola Peling in that situation.

While asking her about lola's status, I glanced twice at the letters ICU posted above the entrance of the room. With a silly grin, I remarked that being in the ICU it seems as if God is telling you, "I See You (I C U) my child..." with the gesture of pointing His two fingers going from His own eyes to yours(hehe). We laughed a little over my own joke. Of course.

Pinching my thick, funny lips and rolling my tired eyes, I realized it would mean the truth if ever we all experience the ICU dilemma. God would be telling us to prepare, or more specifically our time has come! Lou and I were thinking if the word was just coincidentally named ICU; a big joke, or probably the Lord allowed it to be written that way as a reminder that all creatures are mortals in the sense and shall pass death; and that He shall C(see) us through the course as He wills it. Praise be His name!

We were back in the hospital six days after lola was brought to the ICU. We went to the 3rd floor and I took a picture of the abbreviation posted above the entrance of the room. It was in big bold, and red letters. 

That day, Lola Peling went home healthy 

with her finger and toe nails newly 'painted'--courtesy of my Lou. =)

My Birthday Falls on September

I celebrated my birthday last September 11 with my Lou. We had 1/4 of spaghetti noodles and some piece of bread. We cooked it and celebrated the beautiful day. Nowadays, September 11 doesn't sound quite good since we are familiar, if not all, about the 9/11 tragedy. I was on my way to my work station that fateful day when I passed by the cafeteria and saw the terrible news on TV. My heart sank. First, it was my birthday and why on earth it had to happen on that wonderful day. Secondly, the senseless attack on innocent lives. That was 9 years ago and I have no desire of remembering it. So far.

Last year when I was at a critical stage due to my ailment (mononeuropathy multiplex and lumbar radiculopathy), old, new and current friends(hehe) from my christian community(Breath of God Catholic Charismatic Community) came to our apartment surprisingly and celebrated my birthday! They brought food, drinks, and the most that widened my eyes was the cake! I was sitting near the entrance of our apartment when they started bringing in the food. Each time they did I became nervous. When one by one greeted me joyously, the more I became nervous. I thought to myself this could be my last birthday celebration. Oh no! So this year, when the elders of my christian community visited me 2 days after my birthday I told them that I never wanted that kind of celebration anymore. They asked me why and I replied that I still want to live longer. With a grin, I mentioned to them how I felt about last year's celebration. I was thankful of course, but then I felt seemingly nervous about such 'invasive' celebration. There was silence first. Then, they burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Aahh I'm 35. I praise and thank the Lord for giving me another year. 2009 was a Calvary and He never left me along the way. Such a good God is truly worth all the praise and thanksgiving! 2010 is such an enormous explosion of blessings--family ties becoming stronger, friends that have long been out of contact came forth and renewed friendships with me, kin visiting me, financial help and abundance is unstoppable, my health is improving a lot, I have become more matured now unlike before with my perspective about life has leveled up, and all aspects and kinds of blessings are pouring down to my astonishment. 

And I just thought after what happened to me last year, the 1/4 spaghetti treat and piece of bread with my Lou was worth the celebration. Now I can conclude that birthdays, like diamonds, are forever. ;)

9/11/2009 surprise birthday celebration

i love that cake! 

Ailment

Last August of 2009, I was diagnosed with a mononeuropathy multiplex and radiculopathy on my lumbar spine. Mononeuropathy multiplex, technically speaking, is not an illness but a group of disorders caused by some diseases like diabetes, vasclitis or even rheumatoid arthritis. It affects mainly the nerves particularly the sensory and motor peripheral nerves. It causes numbness because the axon or part of the nerve cell is destroyed. Common causes of this is the lack of oxygen supply to the nerves or an inflammation of blood vessels. It affects random areas of the body. All of the 4 extremities of my body was affected. I had numbness in my hands, legs, and feet. Radiculopathy, on the other hand, is a nerve irritation caused by a damage to the discs between the vertebrae. Factors can be degeneration of the outer rings of the discs or a traumatic injury. It causes a shooting pain down the legs, with numbness and weakness of the muscles. This is because some part of the nerves of the spinal column are compressed.


These 'ailments' hampered all my activities especially my job at the call center. I was unable to write or even carry a glass of water. Walking was too difficult for me. I needed to give up biking to my frustration. My body was so weak that I relied on my ever patient and loving fiancee to assist me when I take a bath. I was at a critical stage for almost 3 months. A lot of bed rest was my comfort followed by therapies and other means that relieved my pain like taking hot baths and doing some light exercises. This also included taking pain relievers thrice a day.

That was last year. I'm 80% ok now though I lost my job (hehe), but I'm not bitter or angry at all. God's amazing grace kept me still and focus. His endless provision sustained me in all aspects. Isn't He so good? Now I take no pain relievers anymore, only vitamins and healthy foods. When I say healthy foods I mean more veggies, fruits and natural juices. It makes me frown to think that coffee is still forbidden though. Geesssshh I love coffee brother! As a matter of fact my fiancee and I are able to go to places now, but I'm still limited to 2 travels a week and I still do some important exercises plus bed rest. Last Saturday we were at SM Clark. I felt like I was out of my prison cell (hahaha). I sat down on a bench near the food court and watch people as they go about their business and walk. I miss doing that. I just look at their faces as they passed by--some are good looking, some are not so good looking(hehe), kids, grandmas and grandpas, students, call center agents(eeww I used to be one..), mothers, fathers, children, straights, gays, guards, ladies with the ever pinkish and brightest 'blush-ons'(whoa!), Koreans, Chinese--all sorts. I was like a mannequin on the bench with my jaw nearly dropping. I realized I'm still alive and the world is still busy. Though I'm still recuperating, I felt this endless joy inside me. I felt I was free again. Then it hit me hard and made me ponder how important health is! Truly, health is wealth. I believe God is pointing at the rationale that we, His creatures, should always look at the bright side of every burden especially when daunted by an ailment. You see, I'm still alive. I have my family, my friends. I don't need to wake up early for work, I can spend hours watching TV shows or movies. I don't have to worry about credit cards or debts. But most of all not to take things for granted, most especially my health. It was definitely a lesson hard-learned. =)

The Start

I feel a bit weird realizing it's only now that I discovered my ability to write. There are a thousand blogger out there and I feel funny about myself that I should start one.  Thus, I decided to create my own blog site, just so to satisfy that realization. I remember way back in high school I planned to make a journal of my experiences and personal insights, but it did not materialize. Maybe because I'm too complacent. I fear we creatures fall for this mishap of human nature. With the internet, a window world has been created and people can connect anytime and anywhere. One can be funny, inspiring, religious--or spiritual; dramatic or even horrific.

Today I begin. I choose to make it short, vivid but effective every now and then. There are 'abundant waitings' for me along the way and I want to write about them. I love waiting, expecting things--greater things because it makes me fully alive.

Expecting, as much as I believe, is a form of faith. :)

-mhenkie
E-mail: ironmheng@yahoo.com